365 Days of Prayer – Day 134 – Remembering my Dead

Since I began working with the Norns and Hela back in 2013, I’ve been adding to my regular practices of keeping an Ancestor altar and communicating with my dead at least once a week. We have achieved a lot together, my dead and I. Hela, Norse Goddess of Death, facilitates my capacity for mediumship, so I have been able to work through a lot of fertilizer, but for the sake of niceness, let’s instead call it “stuff.”

I was a bit of a spoiled brat who carried a lot of resentment and anger because I didn’t feel listened to or validated. “Oh, boo hoo! You whiner!” Two very nice people adopted me and raised me as their own after their biological son met the horrible fate of running into a car at the young age of six. The reason I didn’t feel listened to or validated was because they adopted another child whose brain chemistry didn’t work quite as it should and she needed the attention of those parents more than I did. The whole mess led to an emotional soup that got stirred up in frequent chaotic ways, and I became the family peacekeeper and mediator. Those weren’t responsibilities I wanted, yet they came with the territory.

Working with the Ancestors has given me the opportunity to give voice to unfinished business and to listen in response to those things that need doing in order to heal, forgive and move on. It’s really a lot like doing the work in daily life – when I have the courage to speak from my authenticity and it opens channels for communication.

The neat thing about working with the Ancestors is that no one is alive to hit me or punish me if I displease them in some way. Hitting a child is never excusable, but I see it now as the reaction of a parent who has been pushed beyond their filters, beyond their endurance of what they should have to take. Life with my sibling was chaotic, unpredictable, and angry.

There’s a lot that’s not kosher in many parent-child relationships, but wrongs do not begin to make a right. If we felt our parents were abusive, well, they probably learned it somewhere. Forgiveness is the key to cleaning up the shadows of the generations, and believe me, I don’t forgive out of some misguided Christian ideal that I should always be thinking of others more than myself. Heck no! If I forgive, even if I have that heavy struggle to transform my emotions, it is because I want my life to feel happier, more comforting, more secure.

It’s not easy work. It’s grueling. I have sat with the Norns and examined my life and every detail I could think of in my worst relationships to see what part I played. It has made all the difference. In seeing myself, doors opened, and I was freed.

It’s not a finished work. There are ancestors I have never met that I am beginning to meet. But it is rewarding.

Hela, thank you, dear one, for facilitating this healing work that can lead to my inner liberation and freedom! And Hela, thank you for taking such great care of my dead! I appreciate your wisdom and your ability to listen! 

Author: Susan Hintz-Epstein

I am an artist, an intuitive Rune interpreter, a Reiki master, Mesa carrier, and student of the soul. Personally, my best answers to the question of life have come from my relationships, Nature, the Gurdjieff work, and a practical meditative/prayer life. Currently I am writing a book on my experiences with the Norns, Scandinavian goddesses of Destiny, and Hela, called Goddesses of the Nitty Gritty: Called to the Well of Being.