I keep a little quote by my desk that reads: You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… do the thing you think you cannot do. – Eleanor Roosevelt
Today I was caught up in old moods and I have felt very vulnerable. During these moods, I dive into the pain as I was taught by Life Coach Brigid Hopkins, and try to expand into it until it pops and I come out the other side. When I do this, I stop trying to protect myself from remembered pain. I stop needing to defend my ego. I come to awareness of the thoughts behind the feelings, and I put the Byron Katie method to work.
At sixty-one, I finally have realized just how often learned patterns of behavior that I created to protect myself from emotional pain have interfered with work that was meaningful to me. I resolve not to let those patterns stop me any more. I had to identify them. Sometimes I had to have help – psychotherapy, Soul Coaching, or even just friends catching me and making me aware.
I do feel vulnerable. I am more aware. Just for today, I will walk forward into the mood and see what happens.