Sometimes I feel really, really angry, and i need to speak my piece. Not my peace, but my piece. Not that anybody wants to really listen. Most of my life it seemed as if those persons who were louder and tended toward the chaotic were heard over and above me. Hey, my sibling took over the household with her temper, arguing with her boyfriend, and constant chaos of her “need.” Her “need” was usually to get driven here or there to be with whatever friend she wanted to hang out with as she struggled to raise her young son as a single parent.
Yes, I know she did not have it easy, but her own choices made her own hardships. I remember the time I walked into an argument she was having with Dad. She had pulled a knife and he was going for a lead pipe, and Mom was standing on the other side of the room uselessly wringing her hands. My sister fled out the door into the snowstorm and nobody got hurt that day. I remember the time my angel told me to walk through a closed door to her bedroom and her stupid boyfriend with the temper problem was posed in the threat of punching her pregnant belly and killing the baby. I told him to get out and he fled.
The point is our Throat chakra is a blessed way to express truth. We can express truth to help and to heal, or “truth” as a way to hurt another person, damage their reputation, kill their aspirations to our social circle, whatever.
Trouble for me was with my sister being so loud about what she wanted or needed, my wants and needs were not often heard. I learned that if I expressed what I wanted or needed it was often inconvenient for the family, so I ended up feeling like I got the short end of the stick. What my sister’s example did for me though, was to show me that actions have consequences. While it was a lesson she had to learn the hard way, I quickly decided that teenage pregnancy was not my cup of tea, so I avoided that trap. What I did not realize though, was that in not speaking up so as to get along, I was spending years short circuiting myself from my own happiness and freedom.
I learned the hard way that I make my own choices for love and for freedom. I learned to ask myself what I most truly need, because although others make take pleasure from what they give me, it might not be the thing to bring me the greatest pleasure. When I give voice to something now, I have generally thought about it a great deal before I speak, lest my words bring unintended harm or discomfort to another. Sometimes silence is my saving grace. Whether to speak up or not may often be a difficult choice for me, given my upbringing, but my words will always be as well considered as I can make them.