365 Days of Prayer – Day 23

As Hurricane Dorian blows in, even to my inland sanctuary, I reflect upon the Norns, Urdr’s Well, and the association of the emotions with the element of water. The Norns are the Weavers, and the threads they weave can be emotional ties to persons, places, and things.

This summer has been a process for me of letting go of my child to his chosen career in the military and asking the questions of what will I devote my time to in his absence. Emotions, like water, have their ice, their water flow, and their time of rising like water vapor into the Winds.

I carry a lot of good memories. My son and I spent much of his childhood hiking and exploring the wonders of Nature. Nature sustains me now as my emotions roil and turmoil like the incoming storm. Among the best times, I was the “Funnest Mommy ever!” You know you did a good job as a parent when your child honors himself enough to know what he wants to devote his life too. And you know unresolved arenas of your own psyche are at play when old patterns of guilt arise for self-examination. So far most of these stem back to areas where I could not please my own exacting parents, and I am doing a lot of internal forgiveness. As I do this, I gain clarity of purpose, and good memories surface in the wake of old thought patterns that no longer repeat.

I don’t quite know how these thoughts will manifest as prayer today, except maybe: Dear Creator, thank you for guiding me safely through the storms of life, internal and external. For those going through their own process I ask you to walk with them too, to help them find their anchor in the storm. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 22

A bit of anxiety blowing in as we watch news of this Hurricane Dorian which will affect people we love and many more we do not know. I am lucky to live inland, but my prayers today are for those who are being evacuated from their homes to travel to a place of safety.

Dear Creator, please travel with and protect my loved ones today as they move out of the path of the Hurricane Dorian. Please give strength to all who must endure the changing climate brought about by this weather pattern. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 21

Yesterday there were several of us gathered in circle. We gather to support each other in our spiritual growth. We are a group of wise women, yet sometimes we forget to listen. We were caught in one such moment yesterday, when some one new to our group said, “You are not giving her the chance to speak.” And we stopped and we began to listen. We thanked our new friend for her input. And one of us said, “We are sorry. We are coming from the wish to help.” Our friend accepted our apology, which led to a better space for conversation.

I learned that the intention to help is not enough when ego is in the driver’s seat, and ego is always talking. To enter into Sacred Space, I must begin from a place of inner silence that leaves space to listen. I must recognize that although my own story contains the seed of compassion that led me to be here in circle now, my own story will not be another person’s story. She is at a beginning point within her own story. Her struggle with grief, anger, and forgiveness will be her own. Any egoistic need I feel to share my own story will be inappropriate to her genuine need for an impartial listener.

Creator, grant me the awareness to be sensitive to another’s genuine need. Let me listen more than I talk, and when the moment for a response is there, give me the words to speak wisely, from Your counsel. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 20 – Dancing with the shadows

This summer has gifted me with sufficient down time to process many life changes that have left me emotionally in need to come to terms. The biggest change? My only child chose a military career. I am very proud – he wants to serve a cause larger than him self. But alongside the pride, his choice has brought the grief of adjusting to his absence. I struggle between the dual emotions to make sense of these changes, yet stay positive. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like a victim, and I work to adjust to a different flow of life without falling into “poor me” emotions.

What I have learned is that to live happily with myself, I have to give up control of what I cannot change. I am moving from a period of mothering into having the time I have often said I wanted for myself. Yet when I try to utilize that time, a vortex of emotions creep in that I must dance with my shadow.

I have also learned that the process of deep, inner emotional healing involves dancing with the shadows. These shadows are repressed emotions: fears, not feeling worthy, jealousies, and suppressed anger. What I have learned is that if I turn and face the shadow of the moment, I can simply witness it. I don’t have to engage it or relive a painful memory. I can simply label it – today it is fear of what I cannot control – and witness it, and thereby it loses its power over me and I can move forward.

Prayer for today: Dear Creator, when I feel I cannot stand alone or even stand another moment for the emotions that overwhelm me, stand with me. Please stand with me. And when I falter, as I often do, please help me to be willing. Creator, I am willing to be willing.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 19 – Blown Into Grace

On today’s Wind Walk, the laughing West Wind held me in the grace of joy. I have been a follower and student of Renee Baribeau – “The Practical Shaman” – for a couple of years now, learning about the Winds of Grace. And the Winds blew me a song.

Unfortunately, the video I made for today’s prayer was not uploading, and I need to do some readjusting of my intention to publish the song right here, so I will come back and edit today’s prayer once I solve that problem. But for the meanwhile, let the written words of the song become the prayer for today, and let us celebrate the Winds that can blow connection to Source right into our hearts.

Did you know that the Holy Spirit of Christianity is really “Holy Wind”? Yes, the word “Spirit” is Latin for breath!

CALLED BY THE WIND: Blown into Grace, upheld by the Earth, transformation, a new rebirth – Called by the Wind, Called by the Wind. The Four Directions, their guiding light, ask us to listen, with all of our might – Called by the Wind, Called by the Wind. Power of the East is Fire of the Mind, Power of the South are emotions Sublime – Fire of the Mind, Emotion Sublime. Power of the West is harvest and endings, making room for a new beginning – Called by the Wind, Called by the Wind. Power of the North is strength of Spirit, in community we gather to hear it – Called by the Wind, Called by the Wind. Blown into Grace, upheld by the Earth, transformation, a new rebirth – Called by the Wind, Called by the Wind.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 18

This afternoon the dog wanted to go down to the Creek. Mindful that earlier in the summer I had promised Creek Woman that I would lend my Voice, I sat beside the Creek petting the dog and re-inventing my favorite childhood hymns from praising the Savior to praising Nature, which fits more congruently into my current world view any way. Prayers and time outdoors in Nature have fit into the human need for the celebration of a power greater than ourselves from time immemorial.

I gave up my ideas of separation when I understood emotionally that all beings partake of the breath of the world. My body may be a separate creation from my favorite pine tree, but my spirit can merge with that pine tree and experience a connection/communication without words. Feelings are the key. Until individuals open their hearts to understanding this unspoken language, they will not understand the concept of Oneness.

The idea of separation is one aspect of the brokenness of human connection with Nature. The lack of belief in climate change is part of the condition of human sleep and absence of awareness. Some individuals are very aware, and some are not – this is the process of the awakening of the human collective, and each of us will awaken at our own time and pace. There is not blame. But there is an understanding that the Earth is changing her state of consciousness too, and humans must be adaptable to see through the coming changes.

Great Creator and Great Earth, I sing today in appreciation of your bounty and your beauty and your own rising consciousness. I can choose to see the negative or the beautiful, and I choose to see the beautiful.

Then sings my soul, the beauty of the trees, the open sky, and bounteous earth…

365 Days of Prayer – Day 17

Many invitations to join groups praying for the Amazon Rainforests crossed my Facebook feed today. There is strength in group prayer. The Rabbi Jesus said that “Where two or more gather in my name, there I am.”

I have been part of groups worldwide collaborating in prayer for a specific cause, so knowing that many of these prayer gatherings were going on, I grabbed my drum and I wandered down to the Creek at twilight to send a Voice for the Amazon. I cried out to the winds and the waters, and I know that my prayer was heard. But just because I know my prayer was heard, does not mean it will be answered in the way that I might hope for. For this I must trust.

People have been confused by the glamor of Western culture with its facade of big easy money, fame, and easy living, and the dream has separated humanity from an intimate awareness of Nature and our place within it. The Earth herself has her way of pulling our awareness back toward balance with the magnitude of the disasters that make life impossible until we learn to turn, listen to Nature, and cooperate together.

Back in 2011 our small mountaintop communities were hit hard by Hurricane Irene, and I saw the best of people pulling together to help their neighbors. This joyful collective spirit carried on even after the damages, and people were still volunteering their time and energy just to make their neighbor’s lives a little better. This is what natural disasters do – they bring the best of us to work together, and differences of race, color, creed, religion, et cetera are set aside.

Creator Winds of Spirit, today I pray for those who have lost their connection to Great Earth and Great Nature. I pray for the healing of the many lives on Earth, not just human. But above all, I pray for a return to balance, of humanity’s conscious recognition that our lives, and how we intentionally spend our time on Earth, matters. Let us claim our worthiness as Children of the Garden. Amen.

 

365 Days of Prayer – Day 16

Today I am frustrated by technology that is supposed to be so simple… Yeah, right! I am trying to sync a device to my computer, but even following the YouTube instructions is pointless, because even though I have the wifi connection and the cable connection, the presence of the device simply is not registering.

Frustration, fear, annoyance, anger – all of these things relate to the primal brain, that fight or flight mechanism that stimulates adrenaline, and the push to conquer, to have my way.

It is clear in this moment that I am not going to have my way. I can breathe calm into this mood into this moment.  Breath is a tool that I can access at any time or place in order to breathe calm into my moment. I like calm and peace of mind, but it is apparent to me often that it is not a state I can easily hold on to. The world is changing faster than I like. But one thing I can control is myself.

Thich Nat Han has a walking meditation:

I breathe in, I know that anger is present. I breathe out, I know this anger is not mine. I breathe in, and I know that anger is unpleasant. I breath out, I know this feeling shall pass. I breathe in, I am calm. I breathe out, I have the strength to deal with this anger.

I breathe in. I center myself in my breath. I am still, I am connected to a greater power. In centering myself on my breath, I know that I have the choice to keep this new technology, or to return the device, and get something less expensive and equally useful for my purpose. Sometimes these devices, no matter how beautiful, are simply not for me.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 15 – Prayer for Earth Home

Home. Earth Home.

Earth… Home to humans. Home to forests, oceans, deserts. Animals. Trees, herbs, vegetation.

Earth, planet of great Beauty, the Garden of my Ancestors, I thank You for Your Bounty, your heart stopping Vistas, and the Prosperity available to the diversity of organic life dwelling on your surface. May I remember to appreciate You, thank You, listen to You, and live in accord with the principles of reciprocity and cooperation.

 

365 Days of Prayer – Day 14

There is an awareness in me that extends to a feeling of those I love – to their whereabouts, to their happiness, and the extent to which my life is blessed by their presence in it.

Change is a constant factor too, and when the winds of life blow change, when a child is born, grows up, and moves away on his own life calling, my heart is stretched. Then too often there is the aging of parents, of self, and a dozen unanticipated needs play into life’s flow.

Flow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In these moments I need prayer more than anything else. Prayer reconnects me to the truth my soul holds that I need to “Let go and let God.” Prayer reconnects me to Love when I am poised on the brink of fear.

Dear Creator, remember yourself to me when I have forgotten where I came from. Remember yourself to me in the dark times and the light times. Thank you for love, thank you for laughter, and thank you for these beloved ones who have come into my life for their own reasons and mine. Protect them throughout their life changes and wanderings, and may we meet again in health and beauty. Amen.