For a couple of years now, I have studied with Wind Shaman Renee Baribeau. Her work has guided my recapitulation of life experience in such ways that I have been able to integrate aspects of myself that were forlorn and flying in the breeze, like a flag on a flagpole in a wind, but it could not take off like a bird in flight.
Now that I have mixed my metaphors and hopefully gotten my point across, I want to note that there is something about the organization of human consciousness – that although we look at our life as a straight sequence of events, our memories do not work that way. A memory can be a fresh as yesterday even though it was many, many years ago.
Memories in this way form kind of a tapestry. My mind associates memories with emotions, so that they are strung together like beads on a string. My nephew got in touch with me at the holiday season. We do not know each other well. My sister and I were not close, but she is gone these past two Christmases now, and so is the rest of the family. I picked up the contact thinking that maybe as we are the only two left from that home environment, connection could be good for both of us. Only time will tell.
But time, although it is measured linearly, is a more interesting thing than that. Time tables, schedules, and calendars are things of the day to day ordering of life, but not of the heart. My memory remembers the child – a shy blonde boy with large, expressive eyes. Memory adds the time I gave my nephew some riding time, hoping to engage his passion, but I could not reach that part of him. Then there were family troubles that further separated my sister and I. My nephew and I lost touch. There is certainly a lot of bridging to do, and perhaps family healing along the way, and a link has been made.