365 Days of Prayer – Day 134 – Remembering my Dead

Since I began working with the Norns and Hela back in 2013, I’ve been adding to my regular practices of keeping an Ancestor altar and communicating with my dead at least once a week. We have achieved a lot together, my dead and I. Hela, Norse Goddess of Death, facilitates my capacity for mediumship, so I have been able to work through a lot of fertilizer, but for the sake of niceness, let’s instead call it “stuff.”

I was a bit of a spoiled brat who carried a lot of resentment and anger because I didn’t feel listened to or validated. “Oh, boo hoo! You whiner!” Two very nice people adopted me and raised me as their own after their biological son met the horrible fate of running into a car at the young age of six. The reason I didn’t feel listened to or validated was because they adopted another child whose brain chemistry didn’t work quite as it should and she needed the attention of those parents more than I did. The whole mess led to an emotional soup that got stirred up in frequent chaotic ways, and I became the family peacekeeper and mediator. Those weren’t responsibilities I wanted, yet they came with the territory.

Working with the Ancestors has given me the opportunity to give voice to unfinished business and to listen in response to those things that need doing in order to heal, forgive and move on. It’s really a lot like doing the work in daily life – when I have the courage to speak from my authenticity and it opens channels for communication.

The neat thing about working with the Ancestors is that no one is alive to hit me or punish me if I displease them in some way. Hitting a child is never excusable, but I see it now as the reaction of a parent who has been pushed beyond their filters, beyond their endurance of what they should have to take. Life with my sibling was chaotic, unpredictable, and angry.

There’s a lot that’s not kosher in many parent-child relationships, but wrongs do not begin to make a right. If we felt our parents were abusive, well, they probably learned it somewhere. Forgiveness is the key to cleaning up the shadows of the generations, and believe me, I don’t forgive out of some misguided Christian ideal that I should always be thinking of others more than myself. Heck no! If I forgive, even if I have that heavy struggle to transform my emotions, it is because I want my life to feel happier, more comforting, more secure.

It’s not easy work. It’s grueling. I have sat with the Norns and examined my life and every detail I could think of in my worst relationships to see what part I played. It has made all the difference. In seeing myself, doors opened, and I was freed.

It’s not a finished work. There are ancestors I have never met that I am beginning to meet. But it is rewarding.

Hela, thank you, dear one, for facilitating this healing work that can lead to my inner liberation and freedom! And Hela, thank you for taking such great care of my dead! I appreciate your wisdom and your ability to listen! 

Prayers of the Faithful released by Notre-Dame fire

The heartbreaking scene of the cathedral of Notre-Dame on fire horrified and saddened many. Sometimes we wonder why these horrible things happen. As I was watching the clouds this morning driving out on my morning school bus route, I pondered that the clouds held a formation I had not seen before, and all of a sudden I knew that the fire had released the prayers of the faithful that had been collecting in that honorable cathedral for hundreds of years.

The clouds held the shape of a wing, and under that wing were tiny fists of clouds of the type that gather together preceding a rainstorm. I thought of the wings of angels and guardian spirits whose prayers gather to lift us up. The Ancestors had been calling to me since early morning, and I had been singing them awake with my own song of prayer: “Please come and gather to support the human collective as humanity struggles to overcome its own darkness and grow into light.” I suppose this was my answer.

It is not coincidence that Light is equated with the process of Enlightenment or Awakening, just as it is no coincidence that evil is called darkness or shadow. I cannot know Light without Darkness, and I cannot know Darkness without Light. What is darkness, but light unaware of itself? All of the Great Teachers have taught something about waking up to higher consciousness, and part of this process is the practice of forgiveness. As we struggle collectively and individually on the political scene and elsewhere in life, it helps to remember that whether we agree with the other person or not, opinions expressed and sincerely listened to by each party can blend for the benefit of all of us. Keeping an open heart and an open mind is key.

I’m not intending to stand on the bully pulpit, but I wanted to let this be known: the Divine has released the prayers of the faithful over centuries because this energy is needed by humanity and the Earth at this time. When I felt that soothing prayer energy, my own heart lifted, and I wanted to encourage anybody who will listen, to pray, pray fervently with all the light you have. Find reasons to be grateful, no matter what your troubles. Find reasons to love. No matter what the color of our skin, we are all human, and this Earth is the only home we have.