This morning when I woke up I felt that there was a shift in the local energy field. The winds were up and blowing in snow. I could feel a subtle shift in my own energy too, in such a manner that I know myself to be potentially triggered into a negative emotion behavioral loop.
I came downstairs. Was there a frown lurking on my husband’s face? Had I displeased him in some way? I no longer want to go there, I told myself, this could just be my imagination. I smiled and he smiled back.
I grabbed my coat and took the dog for a walk. This is weather that she loves, but the snow was the slippery kind underfoot and made walking difficult for me, and more difficult by the fact that she pulls as she stops to smell, dashes ahead, or to the side for a mouthful of snow. I could feel myself getting irritated, but this is her time to enjoy too, so I breathed deeply, exhaled deeply, took stock of my inner state, and recoiled the length of her leash so that she would have to walk beside me.
We got to the trail where I usually visit Hem. I became aware that I was getting dependent on him to help me dispel my negative inner state, and since I want my relationship with Hem and his grove to be joyful, I decided to dispense with my inner agitation on my own. Remembering what I had learned from Peruvian trained shamans, I prayed to Earth that she would accept my negative emotions as hucha, the dense energy she feeds upon. An enveloping “YES” of affirmative energy was her answer, so I visualized my “roots” growing out of my feet as I walked and sent my fear-based inner agitation down into the center of the Earth. When I reached Hem, I was feeling much better, and this is an exercise anyone can do.
I asked Hem if I could enter his energy field, and for the first time in a while, Hem said “No.” I turned around and walked away, thinking of how often in the past I would not have taken “No” for an answer, and justified my response by some thought such as “Hem is only a tree, and I can take from him as I please.” The fact is that these trees are beautiful beings of nature and they have their process even as you and I do. Hem wants to sleep for a while as trees often do in the winter time. I accept that. And because I turned around and walked away when Hem said “No,” I think our relationship continues even better.
Odin, you have often reminded me to dwell in my light and in my joy. My own dark moods can turn me away from that until I face them and recognize the source of my triggers in painful thoughts and memories. But I don’t have to act any more from behavior patterns of the past. Thank you for solutions that work, and thank you for life, tree friends, and this very Earth we dwell upon.
Earth, thank you for your gracious bounty, shelter and support throughout many lifetimes. Thank you for digesting my hucha so that I need not bother others with my own “stuff.”