365 Days of Prayer – Day 105 Winds of Change

This morning when I woke up I felt that there was a shift in the local energy field. The winds were up and blowing in snow. I could feel a subtle shift in my own energy too, in such a manner that I know myself to be potentially triggered into a negative emotion behavioral loop.

I came downstairs. Was there a frown lurking on my husband’s face? Had I displeased him in some way? I no longer want to go there, I told myself, this could just be my imagination. I smiled and he smiled back.

I grabbed my coat and took the dog for a walk. This is weather that she loves, but the snow was the slippery kind underfoot and made walking difficult for me, and more difficult by the fact that she pulls as she stops to smell, dashes ahead, or to the side for a mouthful of snow. I could feel myself getting irritated, but this is her time to enjoy too, so I breathed deeply, exhaled deeply, took stock of my inner state, and recoiled the length of her leash so that she would have to walk beside me.

We got to the trail where I usually visit Hem. I became aware that I was getting dependent on him to help me dispel my negative inner state, and since I want my relationship with Hem and his grove to be joyful, I decided to dispense with my inner agitation on my own. Remembering what I had learned from Peruvian trained shamans, I prayed to Earth that she would accept my negative emotions as hucha, the dense energy she feeds upon. An enveloping “YES” of affirmative energy was her answer, so I visualized my “roots” growing out of my feet as I walked and sent my fear-based inner agitation down into the center of the Earth. When I reached Hem, I was feeling much better, and this is an exercise anyone can do.

I asked Hem if I could enter his energy field, and for the first time  in a while, Hem said “No.” I turned around and walked away, thinking of how often in the past I would not have taken “No” for an answer, and justified my response by some thought such as “Hem is only a tree, and I can take from him as I please.” The fact is that these trees are beautiful beings of nature and they have their process even as you and I do. Hem wants to sleep for a while as trees often do in the winter time. I accept that. And because I turned around and walked away when Hem said “No,” I think our relationship continues even better.

Odin, you have often reminded me to dwell in my light and in my joy. My own dark moods can turn me away from that until I face them and recognize the source of my triggers in painful thoughts and memories. But I don’t have to act any more from behavior patterns of the past. Thank you for solutions that work, and thank you for life, tree friends, and this very Earth we dwell upon.

Earth, thank you for your gracious bounty, shelter and support throughout many lifetimes. Thank you for digesting my hucha so that I need not bother others with my own “stuff.”

365 Days of Prayer – Day 94 Blocked Chakras

Yesterday I started to talk about unblocking chakras. My Crown and Brow were blocked and it took me a couple days to realize why. I have been working to release negative thoughts and form new pathways in my revolving thinking. Some of these thoughts were toxic and followed pathways worn in my tired brain since childhood when resentment at my sister flourished in lieu of thoughts of well being and achievements. But that’s my stuff – ain’t no one else’s business. I make note only because I realize we all have some unworthy thoughts that float around connected to negative behavior loops that can trip us up at the most unexpected of times, sometimes to great embarrassment. That didn’t happen this time, but I had received some healing in the form of divinations a friend performed for me and a healing grid another has set up. So to take advantage of all this supporting love, I am following the prescriptions. Cast out hate, bring in love, and act from the present moment in all ways. Let be what will be, let come what will come, have no worries, no doubts and be of good faith. OK!

For about a day and a half this was easy. Then yesterday morning I woke up with a blocked head – the energy manifests in me as a sinus cold – and the light bulb finally clicked on that this is blocked energy! Duh! I have been through this often enough before, I would hope to catch it sooner, but my excuse is that life is distracting. OK!

I have given teachings for Tree Meditation in an earlier blog on the chakras. My matron goddess, Frau Holle, had suggested to me about a month ago that I deepen my relationship with this particular tree I befriended a few years ago, so I did. I went to “He” and asked how we could deepen our friendship with each other. The tradition of GEBO, the Rune of gifting, teaches that gifts are always exchanged. Out of integrity, in my request to partner with this tree, I wanted to be certain that I was giving as well as receiving. “He” and I agree to share energetic healing, exchange of energy at need, love, and small gifts such as I can bring to him or that the forest offers through him to me. Mostly we gift each other Presence. 

This is a fun play on words, is it not? Presence – Presents.

But any way, just when I needed him most, “He” merged with me as I ran my energy from Crown to Root chakra, and I was able to sense my Brow and Crown chakras again. Some debris remains, but I am working through that today.

Creator, I really, r-r-really, give thanks for my Tree friend “He” and the gifts of energy that we are able to share when we merge. I am grateful that “He” links me to the energy of his grove. I am thankful for the beauty of the merging of energies that allows me to experience a wonderful fullness of life on multiple levels. Amen-Aho

365 Days of Prayer – Day 83 Clearing negative emotions

My ability to clear negative emotions depends on my ability to be aware of what I am feeling. It takes a moment of time to go within and a willingness to sit with what comes up. Some of it depends on my physical well being. It is harder to stay in a positive mood when my blood sugar is low or I am dealing with a head cold.

There are a number of things that trigger me: (a) dealing with difficult people. Some folks just don’t seem to care how amicably we are to get along, they just want to play the power game. (b) Traffic and stop signs. There’s not much I can do about this one, except to practice my patience. (c) People who get in the way of what I want to do. This one is pure ego, because I like to take a project and run with it, even though this has the potential to develop carelessness and errors. Again, what I am teaching myself to do here is slow down and turn to those very people for their often intelligent and reasonable feedback. (d) Parents who give their kids technology too young. Whatever happened to playing outside with your friends, and riding bicycles, and having real conversations with real people instead of walking around texting in such a manner as to develop a crick in the neck? (e) Short sighted lack of concern for the environment and ignorant defense of a president who is determined to turn the clock back on environmental reform. My best answer is to preserve the environment for the next seven generations. (f) Basically anyone who disagrees with me being right. Yeah, I know. Another ego thing that belongs to a control freak or a perfectionist. This trait is so ingrained in me that the best I have taught myself is to just shut up and listen. Easier said than done.

But what I really take away from all this chatter, is that I really don’t want to visit my negative emotions on others any more, and the only way that I can do that is to take responsibility for my own “stuff.” So when I become aware of that vague niggling sensation of a negative emotion, I own it. I take a moment to go within and ask myself what am I feeling today? I don’t immediately ask why , because some of these emotions are habitual feelings going back years, and I don’t want to trigger an old habit of projecting blame on to other people. First I identify the emotion, then I will sit quietly with the emotion and an empty mind and allow such images to arise that will. I remember that yesterday my husband told me about a new expense and we are already stretching our income from week to week best we can. I realize I am angry, but again I don’t wish to project this anger on to others, so how do I deal with that?

First of all, I will admit I am not perfect in this aim. I am a work in progress. But I do practice turning the expression of the mood around by turning to my trust in the gods and helping spirits who guide and sustain me. I turn my fear of lack around by creating a mantra and prayer that attunes my thoughts with prosperity thinking.

Dear Ones, thank you for sufficient prosperity that we are always ahead of our bills with enough money left over to save something. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 75 The Chakras one by one Day 5 – Root again

Yesterday I gave you a quick practice on running energy up and down the vertical energy column as a method to shed negative emotions, or hucha. That was for clearing. This similar method builds upon yesterday’s method as a way to more permanently stabilize your presence in the earth through grounding energy.

Standing upright or sitting upright, relax into your breathing, and practice for a moment yesterday’s exercise of running energy up and down your vertical energy column. When you feel ready, send your energy down into the earth as far as it will go. I usually tell people to aim for the core of the earth.

When you have that accomplished, pull energy up from the center of the earth and send it down again in timing with your breathing. With your thoughts, create one or more roots through which you can call energy up and send it down. I forget just now whether it was Sophia Richter’s book or Galina Krasskova’s that recommended maintaining separate “roots” for positive and negative energy. The reasoning was that if you needed to send down hucha in a hurry, you could, because the energetic structure would already be in place for it.

Next you can try the practice while moving. Alan and I use this method while we are hiking to keep a good flow of energy going. Think of the walking trees in Tolkien’s story, the ones carrying the Hobbits.

You can learn to maintain energy work at any and all times, but please remember to give to Nature as she gives to us.

This practice of grounding ourselves is useful anytime and any place where the emotional climate can throw us off balance. Here’s an example – a Liberal at a Trump rally. But more seriously, we can use this practice of grounding ourselves any time we feel overwhelmed by the circumstances occurring around us, we are overstressed, we need to find inner balance, or maybe even just being around family at the holidays. This is part of my energetic practice when I am creating sacred space around me for entering into communication with the Holy. Just sayin’

Today I honor Great Nature by remembering that I am part of the universal life force energy that flows within and around me at all times. In the act of grounding myself, I thank you.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 74 The Chakras one by one Day 4 – Root

Let’s begin with the Root chakra, because I cannot say too much about the practice of grounding. We have this lovely Root chakra that serves to anchor us in the earth and to discharge excess and negative energy into the earth. The Peruvian Paqos call this energy hucha, and the earth feeds on it.

Whether I am sitting or standing comfortably, I can send energy up and down my vertical energy column comprised of feet and legs, spine, and head. There are minor chakras below our feet that connect us to earth as does the Root chakra discussed on day 1 of this teaching. Try it both ways – standing and sitting. With practice, this exercise of running energy up and down the vertical energy column can be done while walking. When you get really practiced at it, try it running, riding, or dancing. The exercise enhances your awareness of energy. Relax into your breathing and begin the practice of intentional sensation, running your energy from Root to Crown and then from Crown to Root. Somedays you will become aware of your energy running one way or the other without your conscious participation. I attribute this to the fact that we are transmitters of energy and we belong to the realms of Great Nature and the human collective, and our capacity to balance and blend the energy of our locale is needful. With practice, you can use this capability to diffuse your own excessive negative emotions or those of a group you are in.

Why is this important?

The human collective is in a time of struggle. We are meant to evolve toward higher conscious being. This seems to be a time where the shadows are being exposed, and each of us called to honor the code of integrity by confronting our own shadows and learning to live with more light. We cannot live with more light until we heal our own darkness.

One of the things that happens is that people get angry. We feel angry at the corrupt politicians whom we have been told will take care of us. We feel uncertain at the changing climate and whether we can do anything about it. We wonder if our votes count. Some people don’t vote at all in their apathy. One of the things that happens when we don’t deal with our own anger is that we project it outward as blame at one person or another. Some of us hate Donald Trump. Some of us hate the Democrats. We all realize that there is a problem, but instead of figuring out what kind of a stand we can proactively take toward solving the problem(s), it is easier to be angry and that anger then joins the human collective anger. We vent. We poison others with our venting. We are discharging negative emotions, but we don’t see it, because we feel better for a while afterwards.

But when we do learn to see it, we have the option of clearing ourselves of our poison so that it doesn’t contribute to the overall miasma of the human collective. So we take up that responsibility. Sometimes we get hit with the “stuff” of other people and accidentally take that in energetically. So this is a way to deal with that – I can send negative energy down into the earth, and the earth will feed on that hucha for its own dinner.

Mother Earth, Mother Gaia, please accept this energy that does not serve me. I send it down my vertical energy column and out my Root chakra and the chakras of my feet. Accept this energy offering and let me be clear. Thank you!

365 Days of Prayer – Day 53

I keep a little quote by my desk that reads: You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… do the thing you think you cannot do. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Today I was caught up in old moods and I have felt very vulnerable. During these moods, I dive into the pain as I was taught by Life Coach Brigid Hopkins, and try to expand into it until it pops and I come out the other side. When I do this, I stop trying to protect myself from remembered pain. I stop needing to defend my ego. I come to awareness of the thoughts behind the feelings, and I put the Byron Katie method to work.

At sixty-one, I finally have realized just how often learned patterns of behavior that I created to protect myself from emotional pain have interfered with work that was meaningful to me. I resolve not to let those patterns stop me any more. I had to identify them. Sometimes I had to have help – psychotherapy, Soul Coaching, or even just friends catching me and making me aware.

I do feel vulnerable. I am more aware. Just for today, I will walk forward into the mood and see what happens.

Dear Creator, when I am feeling vulnerable is when I seek you the most. Make me comfortable with vulnerability, because my intention is to always seek you. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 41

This morning things were out of sorts with my partner. I was in a good mood and he was trying to start an argument. I was doing my best not to fall into his mood. Misery loves company, but I don’t love misery. So these things were going on today.

I took my morning Wind Walk, and suddenly a key teaching of Gurdjieff popped into mind and I understood it in a new way. In Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson, somewhere in the Purgatory chapter, where G. describes the laws of three and seven, he says, “The higher blends with the lower in order to actualize the middle.”

My partner had been trying to lower my mood in order to raise his own. We are all connected, and we do this in groups. I remembered times I had with unconscious motivation done the same to him. So it is important to me to share that I write this without blame. It’s just how people are. We vent, but in venting, there is a sharing of negative emotions that makes no one really feel good, except in that moment where we have group agreement.

So, what to do with this information? How to hang on to my good mood?

It took some work, but finally I remembered that I am always connected to Spirit, drawing the sustenance for my being from Spirit, so I simply turned to Spirit in my prayer.

Creator, I have just now remembered that as I draw my life essence from you, I draw my life breath from you, and my energy from you. Please flow through me to release any negative emotions I encounter today, my own and others, so that in this practice I might bring more of your joy into the world around me today. Amen.