Yesterday was one of those days I had to fight my conditioned self not to react from old patterns of behavior. The method begins with self-observation of many years, studying my self, my habits, learning my emotions, and watching the thoughts that arise in connection with these. Most of these patterns began in very young childhood. Home life was dysfunctional. I don’t say this to blame anyone, not any more, but to explain that I developed a sensitivity to explosive anger as a survival tool. The result was a superficial effort to placate, to please, so as to avoid the repercussions of anger in my home. Tonight I created a ceremony to heal from these patterns. At the time of the full moon, I braided a cord to wear around my neck to gather into itself all those energies that interfere with speaking my truth. After all, there were those times when it was safer not to speak. But now, I can speak. I am safe. I just need to stand in strength knowing it is safe to speak. Tonight, the night of the dark moon, I burned this cord. I burned this cord and tomorrow I will bury the ashes of that fire in my garden, letting the earth make fertile use of this dead stuff.
I feel liberated. I am free.
Goddesses of the Nitty Gritty. I salute you. I salute the lessons you have brought me to. I ask you now to ground me, root me better in Earth so that Earth may bolster the strength of my spirit.
The Norns and Frau Holle have been tutelary spirits since 2013. They were among the goddesses of my most distant ancestors.