Today is a day demanding patience. Two days ago my sciatica went out, but nowhere nearly as painfully as one year ago when I missed two weeks of work that I could not afford to miss. A year of exercises designed to minimize pain have done their job. So that incident alone reminds me to have patience with myself. I can no longer quite rely on the strength of my youth, but I can be intelligent about taking care of this aging body.
Today I had the last ski charter of the year. Getting down to work to get the bus gave me another opportunity to remember patience as the car I was stuck behind was in no hurry. Fortunately, I had the mindset this morning because of the sciatica.
Incidents and situations that I don’t plan on, are great for helping me to “wake up,” step out of ego for a little while, discern the events going on around me. Lately I am getting the message from Spirit that those of us who are “waking up” to the light of the heavens (term borrowed from my friend John Naughton’s books on the Book of Revelation) are being asked to hold space for those who aren’t quite there yet. I’m willing to do this, when I remember that I too, was once lost in my own darkness. So it is good that I have sciatica. It is good that events conspire to slow me down, to pace, to think, and to be aware that all is intrinsically good, that it is often my own judgments that color things bad.
Creator, thank you for today and the events that have made me slow down in the sunshine and cold of the day. Thank you for the joy of the skiers and of my dog as I took her hiking at my snail’s paced walk. Thank you simply for the reminder to just BE.
It seems like the 100th day of daily prayer ought to somehow be special or a day more significant than any other day. Instead it just seems like another day I cannot catch up to my own goals, no matter how pronounced.
I am behind on the daily prayer blogs, but the best I can do is to plug forward best I can and if my original goal of one year takes longer than I planned, so it does.
I am working on reformatting my ebook Rune Play, and deciding whether or not to include the last chapter of the first edition or publish that as a second ebook. It really does deserve its own place due to its uniqueness.
Good thing is, as I work on myself to free my self from those old habits of self-negating thought, I make more progress, because self forgiveness allows me to continue to move forward. No matter what. No matter the six-day work weeks of recent months or limited time frames.
About a year ago I fell and fell hard. My sciatica went out, and my body which has always been strong and adaptable was stopped while I healed from the pain. A week off from my day job of bus driving with good chiropractic care and then a solid routine of exercises to strengthen the muscle groups to support my pelvis have worked wonders. But the entire episode made me aware that I am not bionic, I do have limits to how much I can push myself, and I am focusing much more on meeting my own needs than those of other people, even those close to me. Even though I have a soft heart and like to be responsive to the needs and desires of my family, I have had to toughen up and take a solid stance for me. Self care really is important, because without that I cannot show up for my dreams which keep me going when the rest of life feels like a struggle.
So I guess today is special, even if only to take stock of how far I have journeyed, and to know that the journey continues.
Creator, thank you for enlightening me as to the importance of self care as a means of progressing through life no matter what curve balls it hands me.