So many people of my acquaintance have been busy with their own health issues or that of family members this week. That simple fact reminds me that we can take nothing for granted, as if we haven’t been made aware of that by the current pandemic. Yet I still hear friends claiming that the pandemic, which is worldwide, is a hoax. Friends, it takes a lot of people cooperating in a conspiracy theory to maintain a hoax at that level, and frankly, people just are not that capable of keeping the secrecy needed to maintain this kind of a hoax. Someone would leak the secret, so I’m not buying into the hoax theory.

Rumors fly around, too, and another friend at work is refusing his shot because he doesn’t want a microchip in his arm. The rest of us had a good chuckle at his expense, because we just don’t think we are important enough to be placed under that level of scrutiny – it would require many, many eyes to keep watch on all of us. There were 7,674,000,000 people in the world in 2019. Who has the time to keep surveillance on all that many? So I’m not buying into the microchip theory either.

In fact with all the strife in the world right now and health issues going on at home, I have very little attention for more than I have to take care of in any given day. No, neither my husband nor I have the Covid, but we are dealing with the inevitable facets of aging. Theses are just facts of life. I sat with my mother as she aged, and my father too. Although we do not like the facets of aging, we really are among the lucky ones. We live rurally so social distancing is easy. We have a freezer full of food and lots of toilet paper, family and friends to reach out to in showing caring for one another.

I continue to drive a school bus, and although the Covid has come as close as the kid who sits kitty-corner to me as a driver having had to quarantine because a classmate caught the disease, it hasn’t caught us yet. A practice of maintaining good hygiene and a practice of praying always supports me. With age, death comes closer. The Covid can be frightening, yes, but death holds few fears for me except in leaving the work I came into life to do undone. I live a self-examined life, so I’m well in touch with that work, and I do pray for sufficient time to finish it. But even if I don’t, I don’t feel all that bad about the time I’ve spent here on Earth. I’ve done my best to play it straight with people. I try to be kind. I’ve learned a measure of patience, even though my husband could tell you its not my middle name. I’ve seen a lot and accomplished a lot and I am grateful. These days my life is relatively quiet and I like it that way.

My reason is simple. With more of life behind me than ahead of me, and events so uncertain and nothing ever promised, I have become more able to be present to the moment I am in, the activity I am doing, and accepting of life just as it is. It is easier to find contentment, even happiness, in the way life is. I leave the criticisms of my old perfectionism behind me. What does it matter how people look, how I compare myself to others, or sometimes even how something someone said to me came across? Maybe that rude person was just having a bad day.

I have a lot to look forward to. I have deepened my relationship with the divine. From being a former Christian, I now declare myself Heathen. It’s a new way of life that feels truer to my inner self. I have taken in Jesus’ practical teachings of forgiveness and this shall always be part of my life. But my Ancestors had ways that were more Earth-centered and these fit my spirituality better now. Yesterday was the first day of Spring, and I sat with my Guides and the Elder Gods of my Ancestors in ceremony. I gave thanks for all that has come before, and received guidance on deepening my relationship with the land and my occupations during the coming year. What better way to combat diabetes than finding sweetness in the life that I have, instead of eating bitterness, because of the life I think I want, but don’t have? As one of my favorite singers sang, “It’s not having what you want, but wanting what you have.”


One response to “Finding Contentment”

  1. Laura Sodders Avatar
    Laura Sodders

    Lovely post! I think it helps greatly to have no fear of death, only the fear of leaving things undone, as you say. Taking all that misplaced “worry” energy and putting it out to help others and do our best every day. Not having a TV helps tons too.

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