365 Days of Prayer – Day 105 Winds of Change

This morning when I woke up I felt that there was a shift in the local energy field. The winds were up and blowing in snow. I could feel a subtle shift in my own energy too, in such a manner that I know myself to be potentially triggered into a negative emotion behavioral loop.

I came downstairs. Was there a frown lurking on my husband’s face? Had I displeased him in some way? I no longer want to go there, I told myself, this could just be my imagination. I smiled and he smiled back.

I grabbed my coat and took the dog for a walk. This is weather that she loves, but the snow was the slippery kind underfoot and made walking difficult for me, and more difficult by the fact that she pulls as she stops to smell, dashes ahead, or to the side for a mouthful of snow. I could feel myself getting irritated, but this is her time to enjoy too, so I breathed deeply, exhaled deeply, took stock of my inner state, and recoiled the length of her leash so that she would have to walk beside me.

We got to the trail where I usually visit Hem. I became aware that I was getting dependent on him to help me dispel my negative inner state, and since I want my relationship with Hem and his grove to be joyful, I decided to dispense with my inner agitation on my own. Remembering what I had learned from Peruvian trained shamans, I prayed to Earth that she would accept my negative emotions as hucha, the dense energy she feeds upon. An enveloping “YES” of affirmative energy was her answer, so I visualized my “roots” growing out of my feet as I walked and sent my fear-based inner agitation down into the center of the Earth. When I reached Hem, I was feeling much better, and this is an exercise anyone can do.

I asked Hem if I could enter his energy field, and for the first time  in a while, Hem said “No.” I turned around and walked away, thinking of how often in the past I would not have taken “No” for an answer, and justified my response by some thought such as “Hem is only a tree, and I can take from him as I please.” The fact is that these trees are beautiful beings of nature and they have their process even as you and I do. Hem wants to sleep for a while as trees often do in the winter time. I accept that. And because I turned around and walked away when Hem said “No,” I think our relationship continues even better.

Odin, you have often reminded me to dwell in my light and in my joy. My own dark moods can turn me away from that until I face them and recognize the source of my triggers in painful thoughts and memories. But I don’t have to act any more from behavior patterns of the past. Thank you for solutions that work, and thank you for life, tree friends, and this very Earth we dwell upon.

Earth, thank you for your gracious bounty, shelter and support throughout many lifetimes. Thank you for digesting my hucha so that I need not bother others with my own “stuff.”

365 Days of Prayer – Day 83 Clearing negative emotions

My ability to clear negative emotions depends on my ability to be aware of what I am feeling. It takes a moment of time to go within and a willingness to sit with what comes up. Some of it depends on my physical well being. It is harder to stay in a positive mood when my blood sugar is low or I am dealing with a head cold.

There are a number of things that trigger me: (a) dealing with difficult people. Some folks just don’t seem to care how amicably we are to get along, they just want to play the power game. (b) Traffic and stop signs. There’s not much I can do about this one, except to practice my patience. (c) People who get in the way of what I want to do. This one is pure ego, because I like to take a project and run with it, even though this has the potential to develop carelessness and errors. Again, what I am teaching myself to do here is slow down and turn to those very people for their often intelligent and reasonable feedback. (d) Parents who give their kids technology too young. Whatever happened to playing outside with your friends, and riding bicycles, and having real conversations with real people instead of walking around texting in such a manner as to develop a crick in the neck? (e) Short sighted lack of concern for the environment and ignorant defense of a president who is determined to turn the clock back on environmental reform. My best answer is to preserve the environment for the next seven generations. (f) Basically anyone who disagrees with me being right. Yeah, I know. Another ego thing that belongs to a control freak or a perfectionist. This trait is so ingrained in me that the best I have taught myself is to just shut up and listen. Easier said than done.

But what I really take away from all this chatter, is that I really don’t want to visit my negative emotions on others any more, and the only way that I can do that is to take responsibility for my own “stuff.” So when I become aware of that vague niggling sensation of a negative emotion, I own it. I take a moment to go within and ask myself what am I feeling today? I don’t immediately ask why , because some of these emotions are habitual feelings going back years, and I don’t want to trigger an old habit of projecting blame on to other people. First I identify the emotion, then I will sit quietly with the emotion and an empty mind and allow such images to arise that will. I remember that yesterday my husband told me about a new expense and we are already stretching our income from week to week best we can. I realize I am angry, but again I don’t wish to project this anger on to others, so how do I deal with that?

First of all, I will admit I am not perfect in this aim. I am a work in progress. But I do practice turning the expression of the mood around by turning to my trust in the gods and helping spirits who guide and sustain me. I turn my fear of lack around by creating a mantra and prayer that attunes my thoughts with prosperity thinking.

Dear Ones, thank you for sufficient prosperity that we are always ahead of our bills with enough money left over to save something. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 81

I woke up this morning with a vague feeling of resentment. This was not a solid emotion I could put my finger on, but more like an old habit. However, since I do a weekly Rune draw (here for January 19 – 25, 2020) the message was definite: I needed to clear my negative emotions before I could be clear to read for others.

When  I am caught in a negative emotion, the most certain methods for me to escape it are prayer and gratitude. I turn it around. I take whatever upsets me and find the gift in it. The Gift is the Rune GEBO/GIFU and is a mutual exchange.

Dear Ones: Today I thank you for the snow I have to shovel. I thank you for the resentment I woke up with; this is an opportunity to practice turning around my emotional state. I thank you for the pile of dishes to wash this morning and for the good meal last night that dirtied them. I thank you for the dog to walk. I thank you for the rest provided by this weekend. I thank you for inspiration. I thank you for my home and my husband. Amen.