365 Days of Prayer – Day 137 – You can’t always get what you want

“You can’t always get what you want,” Mick Jaeger sings, “but if you try real hard, sometimes you might just get what you need.”

For a few years now, since I’ve been working with the Norns and Hela, I’ve been digging deep into my own Subconsciousness for a life review. The Norns have guided my insights, Hela has pointed me in the direction of what I need to release because it no longer serves me, and Loki has cheered me on or cheerfully tricked me into seeing my own self-deception.

Today has found me struggling with technological issues that don’t depend on me to resolve, but upon others. I have called tech support, and sales support, and billing support for ZOOM, but I am still stuck on waiting through the company’s growing pains during this time of COVID seclusion to get what I need.

I’m never the most patient of persons, so it is with some humor, that I have stopped banging my will against the proverbial brick wall and put my patience cap on to wait. Meanwhile I am doing what I can.

I am working on a video class on the Runes, and I am going to teach this class as the Runes have SOUL! I’m also working on my first six-week class on Yggdrasil, the Northern Tree of Life – and Worlds! There is a lot of available material, and I am wanting to present deeply and in such a way that people enlarge their spirits. I’ve a ways to go on the planning, but that’s okay. The process is teaching me what I need to know to be able to get more technically savvy. That is never a bad thing.

So while I wait, I may not have what I want, but I am certainly trying real hard to have what I need.

Creator, Breath of Life and Inspiration! Nurture the seed of learning in my heart so that my process may be timely and in alignment with the highest good of all. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 134 – Remembering my Dead

Since I began working with the Norns and Hela back in 2013, I’ve been adding to my regular practices of keeping an Ancestor altar and communicating with my dead at least once a week. We have achieved a lot together, my dead and I. Hela, Norse Goddess of Death, facilitates my capacity for mediumship, so I have been able to work through a lot of fertilizer, but for the sake of niceness, let’s instead call it “stuff.”

I was a bit of a spoiled brat who carried a lot of resentment and anger because I didn’t feel listened to or validated. “Oh, boo hoo! You whiner!” Two very nice people adopted me and raised me as their own after their biological son met the horrible fate of running into a car at the young age of six. The reason I didn’t feel listened to or validated was because they adopted another child whose brain chemistry didn’t work quite as it should and she needed the attention of those parents more than I did. The whole mess led to an emotional soup that got stirred up in frequent chaotic ways, and I became the family peacekeeper and mediator. Those weren’t responsibilities I wanted, yet they came with the territory.

Working with the Ancestors has given me the opportunity to give voice to unfinished business and to listen in response to those things that need doing in order to heal, forgive and move on. It’s really a lot like doing the work in daily life – when I have the courage to speak from my authenticity and it opens channels for communication.

The neat thing about working with the Ancestors is that no one is alive to hit me or punish me if I displease them in some way. Hitting a child is never excusable, but I see it now as the reaction of a parent who has been pushed beyond their filters, beyond their endurance of what they should have to take. Life with my sibling was chaotic, unpredictable, and angry.

There’s a lot that’s not kosher in many parent-child relationships, but wrongs do not begin to make a right. If we felt our parents were abusive, well, they probably learned it somewhere. Forgiveness is the key to cleaning up the shadows of the generations, and believe me, I don’t forgive out of some misguided Christian ideal that I should always be thinking of others more than myself. Heck no! If I forgive, even if I have that heavy struggle to transform my emotions, it is because I want my life to feel happier, more comforting, more secure.

It’s not easy work. It’s grueling. I have sat with the Norns and examined my life and every detail I could think of in my worst relationships to see what part I played. It has made all the difference. In seeing myself, doors opened, and I was freed.

It’s not a finished work. There are ancestors I have never met that I am beginning to meet. But it is rewarding.

Hela, thank you, dear one, for facilitating this healing work that can lead to my inner liberation and freedom! And Hela, thank you for taking such great care of my dead! I appreciate your wisdom and your ability to listen! 

365 Days of Prayer – Day 97 The Norns and Women

There is a part of me that wonders at incorporating the topic of the Norns and women into my 365 days of prayer that I started when my son undertook the Marine experience. They fit, because I am a woman, and a Mom, and I work with the Norns and my own Orlog and Wyrd in order to become the kind of person I want to be. Sometimes my reasoning is more of an emotional nature, but it is to women I speak.

Women are the bearers of life. We have given sons and daughters to life in order for life to carry on. In ancient times, the women of the Germanic and Scandinavian times were respected also as the bearers of the divine and of magic. There were practices that kept the tribe healthy. One could bless, or one could curse, depending on the demands of life and the times.

Then women fell under the power of the patriarch. The lies told against women – that women brought sin to the world, that women could not be trusted, that all women were wily – became lies women gradually learned to believe about her self. The church was particularly poisonous about this, and that culminated in the so-called witch burnings and the murder of women who even as healers were accused of being under the power of the devil. So-called witch finders developed tricks for making it appear as if the accused women were indeed under such a power.

I am not suggesting that the matriarchy is any more balanced a way of life than the patriarchy. Rather I think it is in both sexes working together, cooperating together, consulting each other in their respective strengths that the best path for humanity lies. Take the example of marriage – either it works or it doesn’t, but the best marriages are wherein each partner holds equal power with the other, respects each other, and trusts their partner to uphold his or her part of their marriage.

Well, I’ve said a lot. It’s not a well developed essay, but it is a humbly expressed opinion.

Creator, taking this essay into my own life, thank you for a marriage that works, thank you for balance, thank you for the opportunity to learn of Orlog and Wyrd. Thank you.

Nornir’s Corner

I originally titled this Blog “Nornir’s Corner” because I began working with the Norns shortly after understanding the Runes came to me. That was back in 2013, and I have wanted to write about it, but for one reason or another, that seem mostly excuses to me now, I did not do that.

Somehow I felt this was a life mission. In terms of “mission accomplished,” not so much when I have not been focusing on topic.

The Norns brought me round to the idea of choices feeding our becoming. In one sense the entire process of life is always “becoming.” Time and the flow of Time brings choices to all beings. Whether beings make those choices consciously in accord with their Orlog (kind of like karma, but not quite) or not, those choices and the consequences of those choices are always with us in this incarnation or the next.

Soon after the Norns were introduced to me, Hela came seeking me out. I had been reading Raven Kaldera’s web site and so I had some inkling of this fine lady. It turned out she has a lot worth teaching. One or another Norse god or goddess would make themselves known to me, and the teaching has been building slowly. Slowly, because I’m a little dense and the teachings take time to sink in. One day Heimdall appeared dressed like a computer geek, if a Norse god can dress as a computer geek, but that is the way he appeared to me, and UPG being what it is, it amused me. Repeating, “Droll! How droll!” he somehow dove down my universal energy core and hooked me up with Yggdrasil. Since then I have learned, as other Rune students have already known, that Yggdrasil is also us. In terms of being a “Soul Map,” I mean. I’m going to be giving a talk on this at the ISD Cabin Fever Spirit Festival this coming Saturday in Oneonta, if anyone reads this and happens to be interested in coming.

The point I am making is this: The Norse gods and goddesses have been making quite an appearance to many people like me, who may or may not have considered themselves candidates for channeling deities. They want to be known. They want to relate. They give us tasks to carry out, which is why I am starting to write about them actively today.

When the Norns began coming to me, they showed me in vision of the airstrikes of WW2. They said, “Make it right.” I was given to know that they did not condone the evil the Nazis did.

Shortly after this, Odin came to me, and showed me the same vision. He welcomed me as a warrior, and also seemed to indicate I should act to “Make it right.” I never figured that there was much I knew to do to right that great an evil, but what I can do is take a stand against racism. I can take a stand against self-aggrandizing leaders who are mentally ill with Narcissism. I can speak against those who follow blindly without taking responsibility for their own choices.  I can encourage people to develop and cherish their own unique individuality. In this way we become like the gods, which I believe Odin’s way is all about.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 59 – JERA

The Rune Jera seems a good one to pull into the Daily Prayer today. It is a new year, and 2020 promises clear sight for the year ahead. At least one can always hold hope. Hope, Love and Faith are the perennial emotions.

There are days when the inspiration to prayer is greater than others and the sense of connection more certain. Still, one must work for depth of relationship with the divine, and wait for inspiration.  So JERA is it for today.

JERA speaks of the passing of time. The nature of a year holds the seasons and includes the spring planting, summer tending of the crops, and fall harvest. This is the time of year when new seeds sleep in the soil, and people and animals wait out the cold months, taking on whatever tasks are necessary for survival. At these times planning begins for the warmer months ahead.

But I don’t have to jump into planning without taking stock of my emotional state. This is time too to review what passed in the previous year and my feelings about all that. Once I am caught up to my inner self, I can more enthusiastically dive into what I want to see happen in my life in 2020.

Norns, you are the overseers of fate and destiny. Urdr, you have taught me that my memories hold all the keys I need to see through unfinished business and catch my emotional life up to the present. Thus disappears the anxiety over stuff left undone. Verdandi, you who represent the present, you remind me, dear lady, to remember to be here now. Skuld, you who will cut my life thread some day, nudge me when the threads of tomorrow’s potential for a more fulfilling life show up. In your grace and impartiality, I trust.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 57

Along the way of this 365 Days of Prayer, I have been careful to use the term Creator, because I was afraid of offending my Christian roots. I am giving up this fear now. I love and honor the Creator, and many gods bear that name throughout the history (and herstory) of the world. (Refer to Renee Baribeau’s Winds of Spirit for further details.)

Lately I have to acknowledge just how much of this fear lives in my head. It is not true to my authentic self.

Adopted and raised by a devote Lutheran family, I picked up many conditioned fears about following other gods. Much of this fear also arose from the archetypal fear of the witch burnings and murders of those whom the Christian church had decided were heretics.

Odin called me from out of the fire when I was still quite young. I couldn’t listen then, but the Norse gods found ways to call me in dreams and in the language of the Subconscious, through art and reflection. In 2013 the Norns came to me, and I recognized them in a painting I had started years before and never finished, because who was the fourth woman? Hela.

2019 saw my life changed in significant ways. My son joined the Marines. I have thrown off yokes I did not know were tying me down. An empty nest became an opportunity instead of a loneliness. I am standing on the new edge of 2020. 2020 promises by its very name to be a year of vision and moving forward from the lessons of the past.

Dear Norns, dear Hela, dear Cardea… Thank you. Thank you from my heart for the lessons of these past few years. Thank you for lovingly taking on the role of my tutelory spirits. And thank you, Odin, Creator god of the Norse, for your protection in this round of life.