365 Days of Prayer – Day 100 – Reverence

The only way it seems to break through my own negative and critical thinking of others is to focus my attention on gratitude and reverence.

When gratitude wears out against a darker mood, I turn to what I love. Thoughts of these things sustain me and give me pleasure to turn aside a critical, perfectionist attitude that fails to see everything is fine just as it is to seeing that everything is fine just as it is.

I love my dog’s happiness in running, no matter what the weather.

I love doodling, no matter what the distraction.

I love my husband and his home cooking.

I love the gods and being in communion with them.

I love visiting my tree friend Hem.

Sometimes I fall back on memories of riding Future around the dirt road loops by our farm, or riding Chesa at full gallop alongside the corn fields, or feeding carrots to Magic who had a way of curling her lip in satisfaction and letting her chicken friend sit on her head.

I remember how it felt to nurse my baby and feel his arms around my neck in a warm hug.

I remember my parents preparing the summer swimming pool with love.

I remember the great taste of a beer after an afternoon in the hayfields on a summer day. And best of all, I remember the great smell of the hay. I honor a full and honest day of work.

I remember people who were teachers for me: Ann, and Don, and Jane, and Harry, and Nick. Some were spiritual teachers, and some were teachers of life. I honor them.

I love it when my son the Marine surprised me with a visit home or a phone call I was not expecting.

Sometimes it is harder to love what is closer to home with daily chores and the stuff that I have differences with other people, but I can choose to see beyond those differences to what I love best in my husband despite his smoking making me cough. And what I honor today, surprisingly enough, is the freedom to fight for my own needs, as he does for his. Together we work.

Creator, thank you today for that which makes me smile instead of what makes me frown.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 89 – Throat chakra again

Some more thoughts on the Throat Chakra: How do I express myself? Speech is the vehicle for my thoughts. Do I speak kindly? Do I speak harshly? Am I expressing love and gentleness, or anger, rage and fear? Am I speaking consciously and mindfully? Or am I muttering to myself because I am discontent and venting? My speech has the power to affect other people.

I drive a school bus. Most of the time I am patient, but the children can get under my skin if I am not mindful of my moods and emotions. It is really best to train myself to wear the “Bus Driver hat” and remember that these children are not my own, and that their values are not my own, and so all that I am responsible for is getting them to school safely. To this end, I have learned to be an actor, and divorce myself for this period of time from my more personal reactions to life.

The little boys who misbehave because they have learned to use the “cute” button with their mom -well they are cute, but really, really naughty when it comes to bus safety- I have developed the meanest bus driver face in the world. So when I snarl, “Sit by the window and stay in your seat NOW!”, they hop. Two seconds later, the little girl who accidentally got punched in the eye by the overactive kindergartner across the aisle is receiving the comfort of my mother instinct, and then it is time to leave the school, so we have got to get rolling. That is when I rely on the caring of the other children to get through the bus run. And they do care. They comfort other children in need. This morning I saw the little girl whose grandmother died walking in holding hands with two little boys who had responded from the instinct to be gentlemen.

The point I am making here is learning to be mindful of self expression. Extremely talkative people don’t seem to think too deeply, but babble whatever enters their head. These seems a vacuity on their capacity to be with themselves, and examine their thoughts and their motives for genuine content. When I notice those talkative moments in my self, I want to know what emotion it is I am trying to escape. This could be a good note for the loquacious: What is it that you really want to say? And by the way, if you notice my silence, it is usually because I am just trying to be polite before I find an excuse to sidle away from the boredom you are engendering in me. Yawn! Not to be mean! Then I would have to say it!

And that puts me in mind of all the nonsense about being “politically correct” which is a sure sign that the politician you are talking to is not being germane or authentic! How many lies pass in the way of politeness!

Well, it has been fun writing this blog today. The best prayer I can come up with in the face of all this frivolity is this:

Creator, guide me to be mindful of my speech today. Guide me to be true to my values -truth to myself and to those close to me, kind to those who would benefit from my kindness, and let me not waste others time or energy with my own talkativeness. Let my highest ideal be to speak a true yes or a true no when I am asked to commit my time or energy to something. Bless our way in the world with kindness today, and spare us from the false image of political correctness. Amen.

365 Days of Prayer – Day 84 and Day 10 Clearing the chakras: Throat

Clearing myself of negative emotions has the effect of clearing my Heart chakra. Rising up from the Heart chakra, what is the truth that I speak? What is the creative expression given to my life? How well am I doing at keeping my word?

This last one is very important to me. If I make a promise I try to keep it. I am not perfect in this goal. Life situations have arisen to challenge my word once given, and then I must make a special effort to be clear, especially with the people I most care about, that I cannot keep that promise, and when, if ever, I will be able to make good upon it.

Another thing I observe that some people are really good at, is speaking to and receiving what they need. These people are good in finding the words to state what they need and they receive the respect that they first give to themselves. I admire this quality in others and I resolve to practice speaking to my need more often. The one I will stick with in 2020 is asking my husband not to smoke around me.

I used to find it easy to speak up once I got angry enough, but then I no longer cared how what I said was received. Kindness is an important value of mine, too. So I try to weigh what I have to say, and if it is important enough to be said, how to say it effectively.

Sometimes having to stand up and speak my truth makes me upset to my stomach, and then I have to revisit my solar plexus to see what is eating at me and keeping me from saying what I have to say. I need confidence to hold myself authentically.

Frau Holle, you are my tutelary spirit who has taught me the most about being rooted, and how strongly I can stand centered when I am rooted in all things. From the sacral that nourishes creativity and giving birth to new life, to the solar that calls me to expand into creative growth, and the heart when open is in love with that new growth and new life, allow now my voice to find its confidence for my own well being that I bring forth my projects for the good of all. Amen.